


Red is the Ultimate Cure for Sadness

by pandorasv13



Series: Angel [2]
Category: K-pop, Super Junior
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Dark, Incomplete, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Killing, M/M, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Psychological Trauma, old fic, really old fic, summarized ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 11:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13856553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: continuation of "When it Rains, Angels are Crying".





	1. Session 7

**Session 7.**

 

White.

Diplomas. Books.

Young. Handsome. Glasses.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

“Sir, that makes me uncomfortable.”

The man placed the pen down, smiling and nodding encouragingly. He uncrossed his folded legs, sliding of fabric filling the thick air. A summer breeze rustled beige woven shades. “Sorry,” the man stated, “so what would you like to talk about today?”

“…Nothing, sir,” the boy replied, shifting uncomfortably, eyes drifting back and forth between clock and man.

“Please, you don’t have to call me sir,” he chuckled, “don’t think about us like that. I’m here to talk to you as a person, not as a professional and patient.”

“Really…?”

“Yes, really.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The man wasn’t close to giving up though. He placed the clipboard down and leaned back in the leather chair. Fingers laced together as a smile touched his lips, “That’s alright. I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk to me. After all, I’ve waited seven days already.”

“…You’re only here because you’re being paid by the government.”

“That may be true, but if I don’t help you then I won’t be paid. So you could say that,” the man leaned forward then, forearms on elbows, “I’m not gaining anything unless I properly cure you.”

The boy said nothing. Instead, he scooted away, looking around the room for probably the thirtieth time in ten minutes.

It was time for a new approach it seemed. The older of the two took a slow, steadying breath. “Look, there’s someone waiting for you isn’t there? The longer it takes you to talk about all of this, the longer it’ll take for me to check you off as safe to return to society.”

“What if I don’t want to go back to society?” The boy prompted, or rather blurted.

“And why wouldn’t you? What’s so great about being here in an all white room talking to a stranger about things you clearly don’t want to talk about?” the man inquired, pushing his glasses up and tilting his head slightly.

“I…,” his brows drew together uncertainly, “…I mean, I was never in society…so I don’t want to go back. I want to be with him again…”

“And this person…is it the same person who came to drop you off two weeks ago?”

The boy nodded.

“He was really worried about you,” the man remarked, smiled wryly, “I still recall him threatening me.”

A smile stretched the boy’s face – the first smile that had crossed his lips since their sessions had begun. “What did he say?”

“If I tell you, will you tell me something in return?” His patient stiffened, a wall already building between them. The man waved his hands in peace, saying, “I promise it’s nothing too personal.” He relaxed the tiniest bit and the man released a withheld breath. “Deal?”

“…A-Ah.”

“Your friend said ‘If you don’t help him, I’ll beat the living shit out of you.’ Not very poetic, but I do believe that’s considered sweet, hmm?” he chuckled, amusement shining in his eyes as he saw the childish happiness fill his young patient’s normally uncomfortable gaze.

_Tick…tock…tick…tock…tick..._

“What do you want to ask…?”

The man nodded solemnly, unclasping his fingers and gently saying, “Why are you referred to as a ‘Saint’?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Yunho tore the large piece of paper away from Leeteuk. “You need to stop obsessing,” he stated, folding the chart into a small square and shoving it into a shredding machine. The contraption whirred to life, devouring the hearty treat before Yunho shut it off.

“I’m not obsessing,” Leeteuk sighed, standing up and searching for another sheet of paper – perhaps something smaller this time.

A desperate hand shot out, catching Leeteuk’s wrist. “Yes you are. I know you’re worried—”

“—no I’m not. I just can’t let this go,” he cut in sharply, “If that person is running around campus watching me, watching _us_ then I need to do something about it.”

Yunho bit his lip, eyes liquefying. “It’s already been five months since that night. If they haven’t done anything, don’t you think they won’t? Will you relax, even if it’s just a little?”

But those words weren’t getting through to him. Leeteuk’s tired eyes turned on his friend. “And how long do you think it had been since I first escaped them? The moment I let my guard down they’ll come. I know it. I know it.”

“You’re _that_ sure…?” he inquired, loosening his grip on the obviously aggravated boy.

Leeteuk took the opportunity to jerk away, back facing Yunho as he went about finding a new sheet of paper. “I’m positive. This is the safest place I could possibly be and they’ve still managed to get in. Do you understand what that means?” He found what he was looking for and went about finding a pen.

“That they were warned by the man you crippled last Halloween?” Yunho muttered, stuffing his hands into pockets.

“Yes,” Leeteuk murmured, removing his glasses to better see what he was drawing, “and no. Seunghyun most likely informed him but what matters is finding out who he sent into the academy. Or what if he found someone within the academy already and just—”

“—you sound like a conspiracy theorist Leeteuk,” he sighed, leaning over the desk and palming the scribbled upon paper, forcing the seated boy to stop writing. “Okay, I won’t tell you to stop thinking about it but _please_ just take a small break. I don’t care if you keep thoughts of this in the back of your mind just…get some sleep or go get something to eat.” Yunho gazed down hopefully, urgently.

Leeteuk’s hand trembled slightly as he internally battled. Had he really been stressing that much? He hardly thought it was bad enough to be considered conspiracy theorist level. A small part of him was angry though. How could Yunho be so lenient when they had drugged and beaten him as well? Why couldn’t he understand the pain burning Leeteuk’s body?

To forget…is to risk. He was done risking anything. Being near Kangin had shown him precisely what risk created. Leeteuk had settled into his fake life far too much. Just because distance and law enforcers had stepped between him and DooJoon meant nothing.

So long as criminals were still able to breech a jail, then Leeteuk would never be free of that looming, roaming mad man.

The only plausible relief was that DooJoon had no way to actually enter school grounds. Yet, after that incident, Leeteuk wondered if it even mattered. The psycho’s underlings were just as crazy as him – or at least were taught to be equally crazy. It was like being touched and tortured by him even when he wasn’t there.

Every single bit…

Leeteuk blinked away the thoughts, pushing Yunho off of the paper. “Ah…I’ll go get something to eat then. What time is it?” He folded the paper, tucking it into his pocket and standing up.

“One-thirty in the afternoon,” Yunho replied, relieved, “the Dining Hall should be pretty empty by now.”

“You’re not coming?” Leeteuk’s brow furrowed as he watched the other boy put back on the school blazer and grab a manila envelope.

Yunho shook his head no, smiling rather reluctantly. “I was asked to start-up a new club so I need to attend the first meeting. Go eat something and just calm down a bit.” He shrugged his book bag higher up his shoulder and strode towards the board room’s door. “I’ll see tonight for dinner, Leeteuk.”

“Yeah…bye,” he called halfheartedly, watching the tall boy disappear around a corner.

Minutes passed as Leeteuk faded in and out of collective, stressful thoughts. He didn’t really want to eat. He didn’t really want to do anything but make charts and explore the possible scenarios. There had to be something he hadn’t covered yet.

“Leeteuk?”

His eyes whirled up and he reflexively touched the spot over his newly made chart. Standing in the open doorway were Yesung and Joon, looking rather curious and cheery. “We just saw Yunho going to a club meeting. He said you’re supposed to go eat so do you want to go together?” Joon asked, hanging onto Yesung’s shoulders.

“O-Oh, sure,” Leeteuk replied, hiding a wary smile. Of course Yunho would have made sure. Without much choice, the boy headed towards the door, joining his two companions. He glanced at Joon as they continued down the hallway, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten. It was a reflex that popped up every time he was around the athletic boy.

Since long before, Leeteuk had been eyeing Joon with suspicion and although unspoken, it had always been prominent. Who else could it be? After taking a look at Joon’s file, he had learned he was part of the foster program as well. Yes, secretly peeking at another student’s file was a definite no-no, but Leeteuk had reached his peak of anxiety a couple of months ago and couldn’t resist.

The result was not in favor of Joon’s innocence if that meant anything.

“Did you hear me Teukie?” Yesung asked, touching the slender boy’s arm.

Leeteuk smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I was lost in thought. Could you repeat yourself?”

“I was just asking if you know him,” the boy pointed at a lanky second-year hovering near the Dining Hall’s entrance, “he’s been looking at you for a little bit…”

It took barely a second to recognize the person. Leeteuk nodded, slowly coming to a halt before Eunhyuk. They hadn’t spoken in a long time and by the look on Eunhyuk’s face, he felt the awkward tension as well. “I’ll catch up,” Leeteuk told his two dorm mates. They nodded slowly, puzzled as they headed into the Dining Hall.

“Hey Teukie,” Eunhyuk greeted shuffling his feet before smiling a bit, “How have you been?”

“Is there something you wanted to talk to me about…?”

He nodded, nudging his head away from the building. “Can we go for a walk? I promise it won’t take too long.”

“U-Uhm, okay,” Leeteuk followed the skinny boy with hesitant steps.

They travelled through the campus for a while and rather silently. Soon they were reaching the forest and suddenly Leeteuk realized where he was being taken. Without warning, he stopped in his tracks and backed away from Eunhyuk.

“I’m not going to go see him,” he stated, unable to keep the slight quiver from his voice.

“Look around you Leeteuk!” Eunhyuk exclaimed, waving his arms around the quiet forest. “If you’re scared of something then don’t be. No one is following you. No one is around. And the longer you stand there the harder it’ll be to keep your location a secret. I…well I don’t really know everything that you’re going through but if you’re scared then don’t be. It’s just once! Just let him see you once so he’ll stop fucking bothering me!”

Leeteuk hesitated, fighting between guilt and self-preservation. But…his heart beat quickened at the thought of being near Kangin. Maybe…maybe just once would be alright. He looked around once more before breaking into a run, leaving behind Eunhyuk.

The monkey boy was right. No one was around. No one would know if he was going to see Kangin. Wasn’t it alright this way? If they were only together for a short while…and he took the basement exit afterwards…then there was no way to catch him right?

He found the trap door and stomped on it a few times to signal his presence. The boy’s breaths were coming out in pants, a healthy flush staining his pale skin. “Kangin…,” he whispered, waiting for the trap door to open.

It took some time, but then the fake grass was rising to reveal a dimly lit set of concrete stairs. A handsome, dark haired young man gazed up, a long stemmed white flower in his hand and a grin stretching his face. “You came—”

And once again, Leeteuk found himself breaking every self-preserving rule he had built in the past five months. His mind cleared of all the panic-stricken thoughts, quickly filling with Kangin’s face, voice…everything.

Leeteuk threw himself at the other boy, setting both of them sailing away, trap door shutting with a loud thud.


	3. Session 8

**Session 8.**

 

“Can you tell me how you ended up working with Yoon DooJoon?” the man asked calmly, legs crossed as he leaned back against the leather cushioned seat.

The boy – based on his track record thus far – would have shaken his head no. However, a strange little smile crossed his face and he played with his hands. “I didn’t work with Hyung…he said I was his. I was his favorite I think…he really took care of me.”

“And did that make you feel special?” he questioned, unfolding his legs to lean forward. The child’s compliance had done more than shock him a little.

“He was the one who protected me after my parents died,” the boy’s eyes sparkled in admiration, perhaps even love, “He found me and told me I could be his.”

“When did your parents die?”

His lips pursed for a moment before he said, “When I was thirteen. They put me in foster care…none of my relatives wanted me so I entered the system.”

At this, the man frowned, tilting his head curiously. “I read in your file that you have no record of bad behavior, so why would none of them want you?”

“They told me I have bad blood,” he replied absently, taking great interest in a loose thread of the couch, “I have an ugly face too. That’s what they said.”

“And you believed them?”

The boy shrugged casually. “I know I do. My mother gave me bad blood. My father gave me an ugly face. There’s nothing good about me. They were the only ones to say it out loud.”

“Does that mean DooJoon made you feel like you were not all those bad things?”

He peered up, lips parting in a pure smile. “He told me every day that I was beautiful. He told me no one else could be as wonderful as me. And…,” the boy giggled, sliding his palms across the fabric of his white sweat pants, “he would kiss me every time we met. I loved the feeling in my tummy and the way my heart would swell…I really miss him.”

“Why didn’t you find someone else to make you feel that way?” the man insisted, concerned eyes trained on the seemingly foggy minded boy.

“No one else cared for me like him…and he’s still the only one. He’s the only one…” The boy pulled his knees up to chest, eyes bowed over the white fabric of his pants.

“What about the boy who dropped you off? Surely he makes you feel special.”

A slow shaking of the head defied the man’s statement. “He doesn’t see me like that. I worried him…that’s the only reason he said anything.”

“How do you—”

“—I know it!” he snapped sharply, turning his head. “I got to speak to him this morning. He sounded happy. He’s so handsome…he probably found someone while I’ve been here.” The boy relaxed a bit, the anger vanishing from his eyes. “I don’t want to talk anymore…can I leave?”

The man sighed, rubbing his temples, “Since you’ve spoken so well today, sure.”

“Mmhmm…,” the child stood up, shuffling towards the door.

“Ah wait.”

He paused.

“One more question, please.” When the boy didn’t protest, the man took the chance to ask. “You told me last time why he calls you Saint…but can I assume the name came to you—”

“—you can assume anything you want...okay, doctor?” And then the boy was out the door, quietly closing it behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Leeteuk opened the door, pulling it shut behind him, towel wrapped around neck as he rummaged around the dorm room for his toiletries and pajamas. The fog in his mind was overwhelming, bringing up thoughts of his afternoon spent with Kangin. It had been perfect where just the two of them existed.

There were no third parties to bother them, no crazed folk trying to destroy them. Leeteuk had relinquished all control for those short hours, allowing the world to flow as it willed.

He walked back to the exit, flouncing over the threshold and softly closing the barrier as he headed towards the public showers. At that hour of night everyone was usually eating, meaning the showers would be empty. It was a normal routine for him, following the specific schedule second nature.

Perhaps that was what Yunho had meant. Let the world do as it pleased because surely one little person wasn’t as powerful or as brilliant as the planet. Fighting when you yourself are lost will lead you nowhere right? When you fight, you must be doing it for a clear reason. Otherwise, how do can you look yourself in the eye? How can you face a mirror and tell that reflection “I’m right” without truly believing so?

As psychotic as that may sound, surely that’s how people like DooJoon justified his behavior. If he didn’t whole heartedly believe that Leeteuk was…well, what did he see Leeteuk as?

_A human garbage can._

Leeteuk turned on the shower head after stripping off his clothing, allowing the cold water to turn warm on his skin. The icy splash was for concentration purposes. However, in that instance, the haziness of his mind was far too much – even a physical shock wasn’t doing anything. Being with Kangin…was it truly that wonderful?

_How did DooJoon beautify the phrase “Angel”?_

Leeteuk washed the soap out of his hair, eyes closed, neck leaned back.

_He had said an angel is around to be the pity in humans that doesn’t exist. If no one could cry for a dead murderer, then an angel would surely cry for one. There can only be one such being that graced the polluted plane. To be so lucky as to get more than one…impossible._

The door to the public showers creaked open. Leeteuk’s eyes opened, his arm naturally reaching out to grab the towel thrown over the curtain. “Hello?” he called in that soothing, leader-like way. His heart was slamming against chest cavity, skin thrusting forward, veins rippling with increased anxiety.

“Oh, you’re here Teukie?” Joon’s voice answered. “I thought everyone was eating. I was just about to go meet Yesung and Yunho. Do you want me to wait for you and we can go together?” he offered cheerily.

It felt like someone just sent him plummeting, all of the weight Leeteuk had been struggling to bear just disappearing. He stifled a sigh by coughing and replying, “No, no, it’s fine. Go ahead and eat. I always take long showers.”

“Aren’t you hungry though? I didn’t see you stop by the Dining Hall earlier either,” the boy persisted, worriedly.

Leeteuk smiled under the pouring water. “Thank you but really, I’m fine. I had a big lunch and I’m not very hungry anymore. You should really hurry before all of the good food is taken.”

The other boy cursed, realizing that Leeteuk was undoubtedly right. “Oh man, okay then I’ll see you later, Teukie! Enjoy your shower!” he shouted as the swinging door groaned at the force of Joon pushing it.

Minutes passed, Leeteuk turned off the water, deciding it was alright to come out then. He dried himself off inside the cramped stall before draping the damp material back over the edge and pulling on pajamas. He felt the loose t-shirt flutter down around his torso, surprise flitting over his features suddenly.

Leeteuk eyed the shirt warily, tempted to take it off right then and there. How had it ended up at the top of his drawer? Sighing, he shifted in the familiar material and then grabbed his stuff, pulling the curtain back.

No one was around.

He exhaled softly, walking up to the mirrors and sinks, picking one and taking out his toothbrush. It would be easier to do everything before going back to the room and studying for the remainder of the night.

The paste had barely touched the bristles when a loud crashing noise shocked him. Leeteuk whipped around, darting out into the hallway to see what had made the sound. There was nothing to indicate the source though.

“It sounded sort of far…,” he mumbled, slowly inching down the corridor towards the staircase, “maybe an echo…?” Without much more thought, Leeteuk descended the steps, circling around a corner to see if the disturbance had come from the first floor.

Yesung staggered into the hallway, looking around wildly. When he spotted Leeteuk, a breath of relief escaped him. “Teukie!” he shouted in the silent space, waving his arms in panic, “Can you help me? My turtles…”

“What happened?” Leeteuk questioned, brows knitting as he hurried over to his friend, entering the dorm room.

The floor was covered in shards of glass and the remnants of a light bulb. Some black bits of plastic were mixed in as well. Leeteuk crouched down, eyes sweeping over the disaster sadly. “I’m so sorry Yesung,” he looked up at the crushed boy, “how did it fall over?”

“I came back here really fast because I forgot to feed him and I didn’t want to keep Yunho or Joon waiting long so I wasn’t being careful and knocked it over somehow…,” he explained rapidly, eyes wetting with tears. A small turtle rested in his cupped hands looking rather confused and sleepy – but then again, you could never really tell with such a mellow creature.

Leeteuk nodded understandingly, standing up and walking towards the door, “Don’t worry Yesung. Do you have somewhere you can keep him temporarily?” The trembling boy confirmed he did. Leeteuk smiled reassuringly, one hand on the doorframe, “Go put him away and go to dinner. I’ll clean this up for you.”

“N-No wait Teukie, I made the mess so why would you clean it up?” Yesung argued meekly, face flushing as he quickly pulled out a smaller housing for the turtle and set it up on a table.

“I don’t want you to cut your fingers,” he answered easily, “you’re shaking really badly.”

When Yesung looked down, he clenched his trembling extremities but failed to stop the tremors. “O-Oh…thanks Teukie…I really owe you one,” he said softly.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” Leeteuk smiled gently, disappearing around the corner as he went to get cleaning materials and a trash bag.

 

After roughly twenty minutes, Leeteuk was climbing the stairs ready to just sleep. He thought about Kangin again though and broke into a smile, forgetting about the momentary fatigue that came from cleaning.

The warmth from when the broader boy had held him still clung to his skin as if Kangin were right there, tightly embracing him. A light blush tinted Leeteuk’s cheeks at the embarrassing fantasy. Was it so wrong to wish for the one you love— He shook that thought away quickly, not wanting to explore something so dangerous.

Leeteuk turned the knob of his dorm room, pushing in. Chill wind flew at him, sending the slender boy stumbling a bit. Had he left the window? The white curtains flapped noisily before he trudged over, slamming the glass down onto its sill.

There was still a rustling though.

His body stiffened as he caught sight of something from the corner of his eye.

A large, taped together piece of paper laid flat on his bed. There were thick, black letters scribbled across the chart which should’ve been in a shredder disposable bin for the rest of its career.

Leeteuk tore up the chaotically repaired sheet before he even understood what he was doing. The words were burned into his mind though. Joon’s sudden bathroom visit hadn’t cleared the fog. Yesung and his turtles hadn’t cleared the fog either. Those words did though. That man would always bring him back, even if he wasn’t right before Leeteuk’s eyes.

_Pity me, Angel._


	5. Session 9

**Session 9.**

 

The boy swayed on the couch, fingers playing with the edge of the leather couch. His shoulders were slumped forward, eyes heavily shadowed by purple and black bags.

“Have you been sleeping?” the man asked, correcting his glasses and studying his patient more closely.

“I’ve been thinking about Hyung lately…,” he whispered, exhausted gaze lifting to look at the patient doctor, “he keeps me up at night…is that strange?”

“Well, how has he been keeping you up?”

The boy rubbed his tired eyes, “He’s telling me that I’m still his…and that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do…he said he understands though.” A faint smile appeared on his lips, “Hyung didn’t have to tell me that he understands. I know he understands…”

“Will you tell me what he understands?” the man inquired, keeping his calm composure.

He stretched and yawned, arms folding over chest as he curled into a ball on the couch. “Hyung knows best how hard it is to be around an angel. He understands that I couldn’t help giving into the kind angel…only a really strong, sure person like Hyung would be able to handle an angel.” His large dark eyes rose in disdain as he gazed upon the doctor. “You don’t understand. You’re judging me. You’re judging us.”

“I never said anything,” the man replied in that soft, class-taught gentle way, “I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to help you.”

The boy stood up, throwing his arm out angrily – not in an attempt to attack the man. He was simply tired and edgy. “Just shut up!” he yelled, baring teeth at the still calm, impassive face. “You sound like a textbook. We’re at Session 9 and you still think you can use textbook phrases to get to me?! You’re a stupid doctor. You don’t even deserve this position!” he lunged forward, snatching a sharpened envelope cutter.

“Now don’t do anything rash,” the doctor stated, eyes following the possible weapon, “I know you don’t want to hurt anyone. That’s why you were named ‘Saint’ right—?”

“See?!?” he cried, hand tightening around the paper cutter. “You don’t know _anything about me!_ Don’t you know I don’t want to be a murderer?! Wasn’t it obvious after our first meeting?! Or maybe you were just doodling on that stupid clipboard!”

Two orderlies appeared in the doorway, quickly restraining the struggling boy. They dragged him out of the room kicking and screaming.

The envelope cutter was still tightly clutched in his hand though – a detail none of them had noticed.

He stumbled back into his single person room, looking around the white-walled area. At least it felt better than sitting for another hour and a half in a silent room with that horrible man.

Carefully, he slid the cutter out of his sleeve, pressing the edge to his hair. “I’m not suicidal…,” he muttered, “I’m not suicidal…” He watched wavy dark locks topple to the ground around him. Once the last of the messy hair had gone away, the boy tousled the freshly shortened locks. “Why can’t they listen…,” he mumbled, “Why can’t they understand like Hyung?”

Tears rimmed his eyes and he threw the paper cutter across the room, listening to the resounding crack it made. Soon the orderlies would be back. Soon he would be stuck with injections for instability.

He wasn’t insane. He wasn’t. He _knew_ so. He just made some mistakes. Every kid made mistakes, especially the ones in foster programs. So why were they treating him like he was wrong about everything?

It wasn’t fair. Until all of them lived in his shoes, felt his Hyung’s kindness, they would never understand.


	6. Chapter 6

“So…how did it go?” Eunhyuk grinned, leering at his roommate who was reading a magazine.

Kangin shot the monkey-face a weak, reluctant smile. “We had fun.” He turned back to the glossy book flipping the page absently. No way in hell was he actually reading; not when his body was on fire surging with unused adrenaline.

“You can’t say that and not say more!” the lanky boy exclaimed, groaning and flopping back on his bed, “C’mon Kangin! What’d you and Teukie do? I was the one who got you guys together-”

“—we hugged,” he cut in, slightly annoyed but in truth, the pure memory of it made him giddy. Of course, no one else was allowed to know that.

Eunhyuk sat up, raising an eyebrow. “You hugged? For three hours?”

“And watched a movie on the projector,” Kangin added, forcing the blush to leave his face, “we didn’t talk much though.”

“You’re the owner of KUG and that’s all you did with Teukie the Golden Boy?” Eunhyuk rolled his eyes, disappointed with the lack of development. “You should’ve done something drastic like confronting him about what happened the night he disappeared or maybe what he’s been up to with Yunho or anything else!”

Kangin laughed, propping himself up on one elbow to look at his spastic friend. “And what do you think would’ve happened? He probably would’ve run for the door right away. Oh, by the way, no,” he stated the last part, making a face.

“You don’t know that. He seemed pretty desperate to see you,” Eunhyuk remarked, stretching out on top of his sheets, “and what’s wrong with KUG? I think it’s pretty catchy.”

“More like lame, what does it even stand for?” the larger boy scoffed.

“Y’know, Kangin’s Underground,” the skinny boy explained, beaming, “I thought it sounded pretty cool abbreviated. Besides, if we don’t get a name to the old bastard soon he’ll name the club himself.”

Kangin shuddered to think of what shitty name would be given. But then again…KUG was already pretty bad…made the director’s choice would be better? He shook his head, deciding not to risk it. “KUG is fine then.”

“I thought you’d say that,” Eunhyuk snickered, checking the clock, “hey, what time did he want us to come by again?”

“Right before we head out to open shop,” he replied, figuring they should’ve left to see Moon Hee-Jun a good five minutes ago. Sighing, Kangin sat up, tossing the magazine aside and dragging himself towards the door. “Yo, I can go talk to him alone. Go get…KUG set up without me. I’ll be around after he’s done talking.”

Eunhyuk stared after his friend, waiting for the door to shut before getting up and nearly making a perfect rendition of Kangin’s reluctant, slouching walk from a moment ago.

A smirk touched the skinny boy’s lips. It was one of those rare moments where he could make fun of the bigger kid without getting beaten half to death. “Better head out too…,” he muttered, yawning and straightening his posture.

The sun had finally been replaced by the moon, blue light pouring down on the dark branches. Eunhyuk strolled through the campus, not bothering to be wary as person after person passed by him. Although the academy was creepy at night, it turned into something of a street fair right after the Dining Hall closed for the evening and students headed back to the dorms, rowdy and warm after eating until their stomachs wanted to explode.

Lights filled almost all of the dorm room windows lining the main square, raucous laughter spilling through open windows. Eunhyuk hummed along to the cacophony of teenage antics, letting himself relax in the spring chill.

A bigger framed person slammed into him, knocking his awkward, gangly body to the ground. Eunhyuk cursed, reaching around for some sort of stable object to push himself back up. His hand caught hold of a slippery rectangle. Not what he was hoping for.

Grimacing, he pushed up, fingers curling around the sleek thing. Eunhyuk stared down at it, eyes widening. “Wait—!” he called out, spinning around to see if the person who hit him was still around. The crowds were moving too fast though. He peered back at the shiny black flip phone. “You dropped this…” Eunhyuk muttered to no one in particular.

His own phone rang then, causing him to jump. Hastily, Eunhyuk answered, saying, “Yo.”

“Are you at KUG yet?” Kangin asked.

“No, I got sidetracked for a second…I’ll be there soon though. Why?”

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll probably be there before you so if you want you can take the trap door entrance.”

“I’m fine with the basement path,” Eunhyuk snorted, shivering at the mere thought of going into the forest at night. He already hated the academy during silent nights. Being in the forest during a silent night was the worst of the worst. “See you.”

“Bye,” Kangin muttered before ending the call.

Eunhyuk started towards the main building again, curiously studying the plain, practically boring black flip phone he had picked up. Once he stepped into the well lit building, it became even more obvious how simple the design was.

Hooking his finger between the two halves, Eunhyuk flicked it open, seeing the Home Screen pop up. It wasn’t even new enough to have a password system by what he saw. The screen was simply the default background given at the time of purchase. Four ‘Frequently Visited’ icons lined the bottom of the rectangular window.

Eunhyuk pressed the down arrow key, seeing one of the frequent icons light up. It was a contacts list. Carefully, he pushed Enter, watching as a short list of contacts popped up. All of the names were so bizarre Eunhyuk figured they couldn’t help even if he called – or he would be faced with some sort of weird conversation.

Exiting the window, he tried to find clues on the Home Screen but the only remotely individualized thing he noted was a strangely intricate, blood red symbol in one of the upper corners.

“Weird…,” Eunhyuk mumbled to himself, closing the phone and deciding to figure it out later as he opened the basement door and descended the steps.

 


	7. Session 10

**Session 10.**

“How long has it been, doctor?” the boy inquired, eyes wandering around the room as they always did at those meetings.

The man smiled and said, “Fifteen days since you’ve been here.”

“Why isn’t the window open?” he asked hoarsely, glancing at the shut and hidden window. Light peeked through the thin beige material, allowing minimal rays to stain the room.

“It’s raining.”

The boy frowned, glaring at the doctor. “I can see the sunlight. Why are you lying to me?”

He chuckled, “I’ll show you I’m not lying if you tell me more about yourself.”

“…Do they teach you how to bribe patients in school?”

“Please, will you tell me?” he sighed, offering another smile, “Can’t you trust me?”

The boy pulled at the hem of his shirt. “You made them increase my medication dosage. I don’t trust you. And you don’t trust me.”

“You’re right,” the doctor replied, “…but it’s only to help you.”

“Stop it!” he shouted, clenching his fists and scooting back on the couch, farther away from the man. “I don’t want to talk to you. You’re ignorant, persistent, and you sound like a textbook. If you want me to talk, then find me a new doctor.”

The man paused, eyes contemplating. After a minute though, he stood and threw the curtains open. Golden rain poured down beyond the glass, some of the warm liquid hitting the windowpane.

His patient’s eyes widened and he scrambled over to press his hands against the glass. Although the sun was out, an angel was crying. “What is this…?” he breathed, imprinting into his mind every droplet that struck the damp earth.

“Although you say angels are creatures that cry only for poor souls,” the doctor stated, “how can you explain this?”

“…You were listening?” he murmured, still fascinated by the golden showers.

The man went on, “Angels are pitying creatures. They cry when death comes. They cry for even the undeserving. Saints are heavenly humans. They aren’t meant to purify human life. They are the purest form of human life and therefore are to be treasured.” He peered down at the young, shocked boy. “I’ve listened for this long. I wasn’t supposed to tell you I paid so much attention…but let’s say I trust you to this extent.”

“You told other people what I said right?” the boy whispered.

“Your statements would be of no use for this type of case,” he answered evenly.

A small, relieved smile touched his lips. “Okay…that’s good.”

They were quiet as the doctor allowed the boy to study the tropical rainfall. It was a very rare occurrence to say the least. But that wasn’t the only reason he refrained from striking up conversation. There was something thoughtful about his patient’s expression. It was a face that he had yet to see cross the troubled child’s features.

The one in question backed away from the window then, eyes still on the rain. “Hyung said ‘when it rains, angels are crying’. …Was he wrong?” his voice had grown even fainter now, almost inaudible, “Because if the world is happy…if the sun is shining, can angels cry? Can an angel cry from happiness? …Angels aren’t allowed to love…so does that mean they aren’t allowed to be happy either?”

“That depends on whether or not you directly associate love and happiness,” the doctor replied.


	8. Chapter 8

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Kangin yawned, draping a towel over his shoulder as he left the dorm room.

Eunhyuk dropped his raised arm, frowning at the closed door. It was alright. He could just tell Kangin about the phone when he got back. Now that Eunhyuk was alone…his eyes darted to the sleek black device beneath his pillow, flipping it open so the Home Screen popped up.

At first, the phone didn’t intrigue him very much – aside from the strange symbol in the corner of the welcome screen. But then while he had some down time at KUG, Eunhyuk had stumbled upon a series of notes. In total there were eighty-nine Entries, as they were titled. He had skimmed one of them, surprised by the intensely personal content.

Yes, it should’ve made him close the phone and quickly try to find its owner but there was something oddly attractive about knowing someone else’s personal thoughts like that.

No, Eunhyuk was not a shady, deprived child yearning for corruption. But it was like stumbling upon a diary. Naturally, people want to know secrets so how could anyone judge Eunhyuk for indulging in a stranger’s secrets?

He decided to start from the first one this time, clicking on the note entitled: Entry 1

 

_I’m so happy! This phone is the first present I’ve ever received…I never thought anyone would bother to get someone like me a present. The last time I can remember being told “Happy Birthday” is…well, never, I suppose. Sure, he’s always been around but then Hyung came along and just made everything better. I don’t care what other people think of him. He’s my savior. He’s my everything now…no one else matters. Hyung is the best._

Not able to help himself, Eunhyuk clicked the arrow-over key which opened up the next journal entry.

 

**Entry 2**

_Hyung told me I’m beautiful today. He’s always told me things like that but today is the first time I really believe him. Maybe I’m actually beautiful…if someone like Hyung thinks so, then I have to be. He wouldn’t lie to me. He just wouldn’t. I know it._

**Entry 3**

_I saw sinners die today. No. That’s a lie. I didn’t. Hyung shielded my eyes. When I asked him why he let everyone else watch, including his lover, Hyung told me something that just changed the entire world. If anyone else had told me that, then I’m sure I would’ve treated it like nothing. Do you want to guess what name he uses to call me now?? I bet you want to know. Okay, I’ll tell you! Hyung said I am a Saint. He said from now on I’m to be addressed as Saint by everyone working for Hyung. If they don’t call me that, then they have the right to die as sinners. Isn’t that so kind? No one has ever cared for me like him…_

 

**Entry 4**

_It was their mistake. They deserved what Hyung gave them. If they just listened to him then everything would’ve been alright. Why did they have to go out and do something so stupid? I wish I was there to be able to help him…sometimes I wonder if Hyung pities that boy by keeping him around all the time. He’s not Angel or me so what’s so important about him? I don’t understand._

Eunhyuk paused, rolling onto his stomach, eye narrowing. What was this kid talking about? It almost sounded like…Eunhyuk gulped, not wanting to even think the word. Exiting the journal entry, he pulled up the Contacts list and felt his heart beat quicken.

He was right. There were two contacts under the names “Hyung” and “Angel”. Curious, he pulled up the Recent Calls list, scrolling down to see that the majority of the calls were made to “Hyung”. Near the bottom, Eunhyuk saw one call made to “Angel”. Closing that window as well, he set the phone down for a moment.

So…by what he had gathered from four of the entries, this “Hyung” person was really kind. That was good to know. Eunhyuk allowed himself a small sigh of relief. And here he had been worrying that the phone’s owner was dangerous. Nope, it was just a regular, lonely student.

“Hmm…what else,” Eunhyuk flipped the phone back over and reopened journal entries file.

 

**Entry 5**

_I was at our place today. I hoped he was going to stop by and he did! Hyung really does look out for me. When he arrived, he told me he was sorry for being late and then kneeled down next to me. All I could think about was how beautiful he looked as the church’s window filtered sunlight poured down on him. His black hair shined just like his dark eyes whenever he looked at me. Before I knew it Hyung kissed me. I wonder if I could’ve ascended to heaven right then and there._

**Entry 6**

_For the first time, I saw Hyung’s home. He told me no one else has ever seen it, except for Nichkhun and me. Then I started crying like a little kid but it was alright, Hyung told me. I felt my body warming up when he pulled me into a hug and just held me until the tears stopped. Before that night I never knew you could cry from happiness. That’s probably why I was being so stupid and asked him why he’s so nice to me. He said it’s because I’m a Saint but then I said that isn’t a good reason. Hyung’s laughter was so rich and sweet all I could do was tighten my arms around him, wishing for the moment to go on forever. But then Hyung said it was because I’m the most innocent person he has ever met. He said before me there was never such a pure person even the famous Angel wasn’t so pure. That’s all I got to hear about Angel though because then Hyung—_

“—what are you doing?”

Eunhyuk jumped, scrambling to put the phone away. His roommate was eyeing him weirdly, face flushed from just getting out of the shower. “N-Nothing man, what’re you doing?” he stammered at Kangin. Eunhyuk’s body was all stiff angles as he tried to look natural on the bed.

“…whatever,” Kangin muttered, laying down on his own bed and closing his eyes.

“Shouldn’t you dry your hair?” Eunhyuk asked rapidly, all of his senses hyper-aware.

The broader boy glanced at him and shrugged. “I’m alright. You shouldn’t have had so much caffeine. It looks like you’re about to jump out of your own skin.” He laughed shortly, rolling over and pulling the blanket up, “Night.”

If anyone else could’ve seen what Eunhyuk had seen in that phone, perhaps they would’ve been asking him why he hid it from Kangin. It wasn’t like there was anything to really hide after all. Eunhyuk probably would’ve replied that he didn’t fucking know because that was the truth. Why had he hidden the phone? It didn’t make sense. There was no personal connection…but somehow it felt like he had been caught with drugs or porn or some other illicit item.

He shook his head, falling back onto the sheets and hitting the lights along the way. The room filled with darkness but it did nothing to soothe Eunhyuk. His body was thrumming with energy like he had just found the world’s greatest gold stash. But he hadn’t. He had found someone’s intimate thoughts – eighty-nine of them to be precise. And now all Eunhyuk could think about as he tossed and turned was when he could finish reading the next Entry.

 


	9. Session 11

**Session 11.**

The doctor glanced at his watch for the third time in the past five minutes. It was rare of his patient to be late, considering they were usually directed by an orderly. He sighed, eyes trailing to the window where a late afternoon sun slowly descended to earth. There was always something eerie about the orange glow falling behind dark trees, almost as if a horrific tale were about to take place.

Abruptly, the door flew open and in flounced an oddly jovial boy. His cropped hair jumped along with him as he spun around to smile at the doctor. A letter was in his tight grip. “Sorry for being late,” the boy stated, practically dancing around the room, “but do you see this?”

“Yes, what is it?” the man inquired, unable to get a clear look at it while his patient moved around.

The boy sighed, clasping the letter to his chest as he fell back onto the couch. “It’s a letter from him…and this time he told me he’s going to come visit me tomorrow. I’ve missed him a lot…”

“Is this the same one who you were angry with,” the doctor thought for a moment, finishing, “for falling in love with someone else?”

A pale flush dusted the boy’s face. “Not love…I don’t think he loves me or anyone else. I certainly know I don’t love him.”

“Do you have anyone you do love?”

“Hyung.” The answer was so immediate, the doctor’s shock registered on his features.

The man cleared his throat and leaned back in the leather chair. “Is it because he was the first one to show you affection?”

“Doctor,” he began, eyes carefully rising to meet the man’s, “why do you always make it sound like a bad thing? Everyone deserves love, right? So why are you so against me loving Hyung?”

“…I’m just saying what I’ve deduced,” the doctor clarified, “if I’m wrong, then please tell me why your love for ‘Hyung’ is real.”

The boy fell for the trap, or perhaps he jumped into the trap. “Even though he killed so many sinners, he never hurt me, not once. I could just see it in his eyes how much he loved me and every time I saw that I couldn’t help but fall for him even more. You label him as a murderer but murderers are capable of falling in love too. I saw beyond his logic. I was the only one he treasured and he…he was the only one who made me feel safe.” A smile formed on his lips as he pulled knees to chest, head lolling to one side in an almost dream-like way.

“Hasn’t anyone else ever made you feel safe?” the doctor asked, pointing at the letter, “doesn’t that boy make you feel safe as well?”

He paused, eyes following the finger down to the paper. “…It’s not the same. When I look in his eyes, I know he just wants to help me. He could never love someone like me.” The smile turned bitter. “I’m in a _fucking_ nuthouse. How can you expect such a well-rounded, nice person like him to ever see me as more than a pitiful case?”

The doctor had no chance to retaliate as tears started falling from the boy’s eyes.

“You’ve ruined my mood,” he sniffled, slowly raising the normal emotional guard, “I don’t want to talk anymore.”

The man stifled a sigh. “…Would you like to read your letter?” He offered a very small smile, “It’ll seem more real when you read it out loud.”

As if baited, the boy reluctantly lifted the letter, wiping his tears away so he could read properly. He opened his mouth and in a shaky voice started reciting…

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Entry 8**

_I hate his lover. I hate his lover. I hate his lover. I know I shouldn’t…I know that Hyung would be really mad if I said that but I can’t help it. Why does someone so ordinary get the name of lover? I…I’m Saint, but how does that even compare to being held by someone so wonderful like Hyung?_

**Entry 15**

_Another few sinners were killed today. I was told to wait back at Hyung’s home which I didn’t mind. But why did Nichkhun have to be with him? He was allowed to watch because he’s nothing special, he’s just a lover. That’s what Hyung told me when we were talking yesterday. I felt helpless telling him that I was sad at his attention being split. He said it was alright and he understood but Nichkhun was important to him as well. I was happy when he told me he would always choose me over that boy though._

**Entry 16**

_I woke up this morning next to Hyung. He was still sleeping, looking peaceful. From what I had heard, I’m the only one who has ever seen him with his guard down. Does that mean his lover has never seen that vulnerable face? I’m glad. I want to be the only one who gets to sleep next to Hyung and wake up next to Hyung. When you see such a strong person at his calmest, it really brings the world into perspective._

**Entry 19**

_Nichkhun joined me at church. He said he wanted to be in the presence of a pure person. Most people say that Hyung has the coldest, least pitying eyes but they’re all wrong. I met Nichkhun’s gaze that day, over and over again. You know what I learned? He’s colder. He’s far colder than Hyung. The way he stared straight ahead without feeling was unnerving. At least Hyung still had that spark of life in his eyes. Nichkhun though…he’s so empty. Had he always been like that?_

**Entry 22**

_I saw Angel for the first time. He was so…breathtaking. It was by accident that I ran into him though. I’m not sure why he was passing by the church that day…but he was. No one else was with him and I had the urge to cry as I finally saw the kindest creature. But then something occurred to me…what was so wonderful about Angel? I knew the stories but those were just stories. How else could I get to know him?_

**Entry 23**

_Hyung said I could meet Angel if I wanted to. So he took me to the warehouse where the sinners are usually punished, except this time he said Angel would be there. I don’t know all of the details but apparently Hyung had rescued Angel from a bunch of sinners. Isn’t that so kind of him? So we entered the warehouse and there he was, as beautiful as ever. His golden hair was in disarray and he was smeared with dust and dirt, yet somehow that made him all the more beautiful. It was like seeing a real life fallen angel. I know it’s a nickname but the name was just perfect to describe the war torn figure. I turned to Hyung to tell him about my awe, but I stopped after seeing the expression on his face. It wasn’t serene like when he looks at me. It was a mixture of emotions, as if he couldn’t decide how to feel seeing Angel. Of course that was understandable. How could you properly describe such a gorgeous being? Hyung tilted Angel’s chin up and asked him how he was doing. Angel didn’t reply though. I watched them speak for a long time, too caught up in the experience. Suddenly though, Angel went limp, the chains binding his wrists clanking together. Hyung turned to me finally and smiled strangely, saying it was time to go._

**Entry 27**

_I knew they were real lovers but seeing them act like real lovers was a whole different situation. My chest still hurts remembering it. That’s when I knew for sure that I love Hyung. So the next time I see him and Nichkhun together…what do I do? Hyung will never see me that way. He loves me I know he does…but…never like a lover, right?_

**Entry 28**

_My caretakers told me something stunning today. I’m being sent away to study at some sort of academy. I don’t know all of the details but I have to tell Hyung. That’s what I was thinking at least. But then my caretaker told me I have to go immediately. I asked him why and he said it’s because he saw me hanging around Hyung. He said that Hyung is dangerous and I’ll die someday because of him. I doubt that though. Hyung would never let me get hurt._

**Entry 30**

_I’m leaving today. If only I could’ve left tomorrow so Hyung could’ve stopped by…now I have to find a new church too. I heard there’s one just outside of the academy that students are allowed to walk to. Apparently it’s unprotected so the academy doesn’t advise anyone to go there if they have…problems with the outside world. I guess there are a lot of kids going to the academy to escape. It’s pretty famous for that as far as I can tell. I really don’t want to go. Can you understand? Of course you can’t. You’re just a phone. You’re just a stupid phone._

**Entry 30 ½**

_Hyung came for me! I couldn’t believe it! He rushed into the church as I was being pushed towards the doors and I ran straight for him. Those strong arms caught me and tears spilled down my face. I heard a click and looked down to see Hyung raising a gun. I told him to stop and with one more moment, he set it back down and held me tighter. No one but you and me know this, okay? He’s was shaking…he was shaking so much. I didn’t know that Hyung could be scared. I guess it really is possible. He told me that I don’t have to go anywhere; that I can come and live with him. I agreed of course and now I’m sitting in bed waiting for him to finish showering._

**Entry 32**

_We talk a lot more now. I wait at the table for him to get home every night because I love seeing his expression. When he comes inside, his eyes are always a shade darker and on guard as if someone was following him the entire time. But then the best thing happens. All of it just…fades. Our eyes meet and then he’s whisking me up, embracing me as if there was nothing else he wanted to do. Every day I can see his eyes growing kinder and at the same time growing darker. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll be alright. He’s being pulled in two different directions and the gap between those two roads is only widening._

**Entry 35**

_Last night, Hyung stayed up with me all night because I got sick. Even though he was out working all day, cleansing the world of sinners, he still wanted to nurse me back to health. It was really…cute, actually. That’s a weird word to use for Hyung. You see, he was just so bad at it all. He tried to make me soup but it ended up turning into some sort of mush and then he tried to wipe away my sweat but used a really rough sponge. I found out he thought it was okay to use a dry sponge since it was supposed to soak up water. There were a lot of things like that. I think the reason I felt better was because I laughed so much as his mistakes. Hyung smiled at me more than normal that night which made everything that much better. I wish we could be like that forever._

 

**Entry 37**

_I learned that Nichkhun wants to move in with us as well. At first I strongly opposed but then for some reason Hyung said I was being silly and there was nothing wrong with Nichkhun living with us. Since Hyung wants him around…since they’re lovers and all that…I guess I can’t argue. But when I saw the boxes in the doorway I just wanted to cry and tell Hyung it wasn’t fair that I had to share him. Instead, I shut my mouth and went to a neighborhood church. Praying, settling my nerves, whatever you want to call it…_

**Entry 38**

_The three of us ate dinner together. I loathed it. I wanted to hit someone or something. But the worst part wasn’t even Nichkhun’s touchiness. The worst part was finding out I would be sleeping in a different room now. Nichkhun said he’s sharing a bed with Hyung since they’re lovers, not that that wasn’t made obvious. So I took the smaller bedroom across the hall without saying a word to Hyung. He wouldn’t care. He would be too busy doing things with Nichkhun, things that only lovers do._

**Entry 39**

_They need to shut up._

**Entry 43**

_I was contemplating whether or not I should just move out. The last time I had a good night’s sleep was almost a week ago, before Nichkhun moved in. Back then the apartment felt bigger and quieter and…better. I could see it in Hyung’s eyes too though. He couldn’t relax. He was fighting between the two roads again. I wanted to help him but every time I tried to get close, Nichkhun would get in the way. Couldn’t he see how much Hyung was pushing himself? Wasn’t it supposed to be a lover’s job to make sure their love was feeling at ease? This is why I don’t think Nichkhun deserves someone like Hyung. He’s just a bother. He makes everything more difficult. Before he came around I could still see that wonderful, calm face…but now? How can I see it?_

**Entry 47**

_It was early this morning. I couldn’t hear the creak of their mattress which meant they were just sleeping, right? But then my door opened and Hyung came in. I looked up at him, knowing I probably had heavy bags from the lack of sleep. After the fog cleared a bit, I realized his eyes were just as they had been…when it was just the two of us. He sat down beside me and kissed me so quickly I had no time to register it. I supported myself on his chest, unable to understand what was happening. When Hyung finally broke away his face was flushed and pained. That was by far the most shocking expression I had ever seen him wear. It was more shocking than the kind-eye face. He said he wished I wasn’t a Saint. He said he wished I wasn’t so pure. I understood what he meant though. I knew that we were feeling the same thing. Hyung stood up then and walked back towards the door saying I should go to that academy. I couldn’t agree more. So long as Nichkhun was around I would never be able to relax. But more importantly, Hyung would only feel more pain._

**Entry 48**

_I said goodbye to Hyung today. He only nodded and said he would come see me every Thursday at the church outside of the academy. Nichkhun was standing a bit behind him watching me with those cold, impassive eyes._


	11. The Visit

**The Visit.**

The boy walked quietly down the hall, groggy from medication and sleep. He glanced at the doctor’s familiar white door. It was off to the side, away from the mess of the facility. People walked in and out day after day, most of the time as zombies. But sometimes, you would see the orderlies come and restrain a patient.

Those were the fun days. Those were the days where you realized maybe life was still moving forward.

“Someone is here to see you,” a woman told the boy, touching his arm gently. When he turned to face her, bitterness seeped from the pores of his face. She was a liar. She didn’t fucking care about him. It was obvious in her eyes…the way they glared cold…all the while the bottom half of her ugly face was textbook kindness. For a moment, he thought about slapping her but he had already been restrained far too many times that week.

“Who is it?” the boy asked, allowing the loathsome woman to lead him.

She didn’t turn back to look at him. “A young man named Park Jungsu.”

The boy’s jaw slackened and he pushed past her, racing down the polished, white floors. “Angel?” he cried over and over again, heart swelling with relief. Being stuck among people who didn’t believe you…didn’t believe the truth…it made everything feel like it never happened. If he could just _see_ Angel one more time…then maybe he would be able to legitimize his claims. Then that stupid doctor would understand—

He stopped cold, limbs going numb.

A blonde youth stood in the entry hall, hands casually resting on the receptionist’s desk as he leaned forward joking with one of the workers. His features were deceptively innocent except for those damned eyes. The same ones that had watched in pure joy as people died.

Regular people. It didn’t matter if they sinned or didn’t sin. He had often thought perhaps it was the rich scarlet that captured the innocent killer… “Y-You’re…not Jungsu,” the boy whispered.

Black eyes shifted to look at him and then the visitor was straightening his back, striding towards the boy. “What are you talking about?” he laughed, sliding an arm around the patient’s waist. “You look like you just woke up. Let’s go for a walk…if that’s okay?” He peered at the receptionist and she nodded, saying to stay within the inner garden.

“N-No, you’re not,” the boy insisted, terror lacing his words.

The hand on his waist tightened threateningly as hot breath raced over his ear, “Don’t do it, Saint…”

Shutting his mouth, the boy let himself be led to the garden, straining to keep his palms dry of sweat. They travelled out into the morning air, drowsy patients strolling around the lawn. It was all very normal…easy. Yet here he was, being held captive by a foreigner. This foreigner however had far more leverage; leverage the boy could never hope to possess while living at the facility.

“What do you want, Nichkhun?” he croaked, shivering at his proximity to the man.

Nichkhun stayed close, perhaps having leaned closer. “I wanted to see how our precious Saint was doing…after all, you’re here all alone. No one believes your stories, right—oh what am I saying. Of course they don’t believe an insane person.”

“What do you want, Nichkhun?” he repeated, ignoring the taunts as best he could.

“…I’m visiting Angel soon.” The boy dared to whip around but as he shifted, a pistol pressed into his ribcage. Nichkhun chuckled, slowing their steps until they were at the farthest reaches of the garden. “He was the one who helped me some months ago. I need to properly thank him.”

“Angel wouldn’t help you,” he breathed, eyes trailing down to the silencer shoved into his side.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Nichkhun’s leather gloved hands squeezed his slender form. “It was a sweet moment…I wish others had been there to witness it. The way he shook under my hold…his tears…the mercy pleas…it was all beautiful. Had you been there, Saint, perhaps you would sympathize more.”

Saint’s eyes widened. “What did you make him do? _What did you do to Angel?!_ ” His breath hitched at the sound of the pistol cocking.

“Calm down.” Nichkhun placed a reassuring kiss to the boy’s exposed neck, just above the circular collar. “This place has you on so many drugs. I’m rather worried. Once you’re released I’ll be ready to pick you up.”

“What happened back then?” he asked quietly, voice breaking.

The blonde smiled cruelly, lustfully. “So much red…so much I thought I was going to puke. Can you believe while you were being arrested, Angel and I were bonding one warehouse over?” He laughed, shoulders shaking. “I held his trembling hands, this exact pistol resting in his grip…” Suddenly, Nichkhun’s voice was low and against the boy’s ear, hissing, “Be honored, Saint.”

“Just kill me already,” he murmured, fear leaking into his tone. Slowly, he closed his eyes, praying the shot would be fast and painless. He had always known Nichkhun would come to kill him too. It was only a matter of time.

But then the innocent killer was stepping back, gun sliding into an inner pocket of his black jacket. “Not today, Saint,” he said, “I just came to talk.”

“…but why?” the boy’s eyes trailed over to his visitor.

Nichkhun shrugged casually. “I want you to suffer some more.” He smiled, “just a little. You were taken by Sinners. You think Angel is a person. Really, sending you off now would be a pity.” Carefully, Nichkhun slid his gloved fingers across the boy’s cheek, “You’re so tainted, I bet eternal damnation would be your only option. …Think of it as a final compliment to _him_.”

“Don’t touch Angel,” he begged one last time, shaking his head.

“If only you had died that night as well…before you became so corrupt.”

“Please don’t touch him…”

Nichkhun wasn’t listening anymore though. His back turned to face the boy as he headed towards the house.

 


	12. Chapter 12

The paper was full of scribbled phrases, odd symbols, tears, eraser marks and harshly darkened words. It was ruthlessly scratched upon and badly smeared as if a furious hand had attacked it with murderous intent. If you were to turn the page, you would find a similarly abused image – turn the page once more and yet again you would find a third wretched masterpiece.

Skim the entire roughed up notebook and bask in the hazardous drabbles lacing each and every corner. The only solace was perhaps the number of pages. Many had been torn out for some reason, leaving only the most horrific to study.

Skinny fingers shook as they raked through hair. Large, dark eyes seemed amplified by the calculating depth. He chewed his already raw bottom lip, wincing at the pang drumming through the swells and tears. The whole thing just wasn’t adding up and his brain was quickly melting down at the prospect of being left in the dark.

What was he missing – aside from the person’s identity?

It was of course a boy. This boy was in love and probably still so, with someone nicknamed Hyung. This Hyung person could either be exaggerated, made up, or a murderer. None of those options could be ruled out considering where the majority of the academy’s students came from. Furthermore, the boy was horribly jealous of someone named Nichkhun or in other words, Hyung’s lover. This boy seemed completely positive him and Hyung were meant to be – far more compatible than Nichkhun.

But then there were so many oddities to the facts. Such as, how could a possible murderer be a kindhearted figure? The way Hyung was described made him sound like some sort of heaven sent being – no pun or relation intended. Even if you were to be more cynical, the data wouldn’t add up.

Another strange thing was all of the talk about Sinners and someone by the nickname Angel. From common sense, he could figure out Sinners referred to people who have done bad things. Sure they didn’t deserve to die but that name at least fit them.

“Angel” was a puzzler. How could someone be pure enough to be called such a thing? Or did that name refer to something else about the blonde spoken about in the journal entries. Was it actually a joke? That one entry about abusing “Angel” was horrifying…yet somehow the logic made twisted sense. If a fallen angel had been dropped from heaven, then what would its purpose be? Weren’t they meant to suffer on earth – as punishment for whatever crime committed beyond the pearly gates? Therefore, a man who appeared and took in someone _close_ to the mythological fallen angel would see to thoroughly using the so-called “Angel” for such things as…cleaning Sinners?

Using that logic, did this Hyung person believe only one “Angel” could exist? Was the pitiful, merciful blonde boy being abused…just unlucky? Had he simply been found and mistaken for something special? Or was he special in some other way?

Was Hyung actually a madman for believing in such a queer, creepy fairytale? If that were true, wouldn’t that make the phone owner equally crazed for thinking Hyung is _right?_

Eunhyuk groaned loudly, brain swollen from thought. Surely the bags under his eyes had doubled in size and intensity. There was no reason to hurt his ego more by checking a mirror. When was the last time he had slept?

“You look like shit, bro,” Kangin remarked, having come into the room sometime during Eunhyuk’s obsessive thinking. The broad shouldered boy dropped down on his own bed, not bothering to look at the intensive notes scratched into the notebook.

Eunhyuk laughed off the comment, trying his best to not snap back. It was everything combined that sent chills through his stomach and burning pain into his brain. “What’re you doing back so early? Don’t you have classes until dinner?”

“Yeah, but I was too tired so I skipped,” he yawned, rolling onto his side and closing his eyes.

Something was off. Plain and simple. Eunhyuk sighed, standing up – forcing himself away from the addictive notes. “What’s up?” He asked, sitting down at the foot of Kangin’s bed. Surely it was about time to get reconnected – even for a short while.

Eunhyuk needed to calm his nerves before returning to finish the last few journal entries. Or at least, that’s what a professional may have told him had he been caught red-handed scratching words into the cover of his battered book. Even if they didn’t see his notebook, the recent insomniac tendencies were enough to send him into therapy.

But he swore, nothing was truly _wrong_ with him. What was so horrible about reading? Weren’t teachers always saying how reading helps you grow? Eunhyuk was clearly obsessed with reading – just not literature. There couldn’t be anything devastating about reading diary entries. Plenty of people published their diaries. Instead of getting a second hand source, Eunhyuk was simply reading everything first hand.

Furthermore, he was learning so much. He possibly had the deepest insight into a corrupted child’s mind. Although it was scary as times to pick through, Eunhyuk felt satisfied afterwards. Everything so far had pieced itself together after a while and he could only expect that trend to last throughout the readings.

For the time being, he needed to focus on Kangin. That’s what people would tell him needs to take priority.

“Leeteuk is being distant again,” he muttered, sounding far too comfortable with the statement. “I’m starting to think maybe it’s just pointless.” Kangin turned around to face Eunhyuk who returned him with shocked, heavy bagged eyes. “I know enough to say that he needs someone to look out for him but really, what am I supposed to do when he refuses to say a word?”

“He won’t talk to you at all?” Eunhyuk asked.

Kangin shook his head, exasperated. “I’m really trying. I don’t really even understand anymore why I’m trying so hard. He needs help. He doesn’t want help. It’s a shitty situation.”

A troubled expression over took the lanky boy’s features. “You’re just going to drop him…? That doesn’t sound like you at all, Kangin.” The lack of emotion was unintentional. Eunhyuk meant every word he just…couldn’t bring himself to sound like he meant it. Other forces were daring to take over his mind once more and he truly didn’t want to fight it.

“Let’s just not talk about it. I’m tired.” He pulled a pillow over his face, burying himself into some roughed up blankets.

Eunhyuk stared at the dismissive boy for a second longer but then gave in to the chemicals injecting into his brain. Pleasure and anticipation bloomed inside his core processor as he took hold of the sleek black phone with its blood-red symbol individualizing the Home screen and opened the journal files.

Before he could get through the next entry, his own phone rang. Frowning, Eunhyuk unlocked the screen and read a text message from his newest friend, Zhoumi.

**Zhoumi says: Hi Hyung…I was wondering if you wanted to get an early dinner. If you’re not too busy I mean.**

**I say: Busy? No way. I’ll meet you there now.**

Grudgingly, Eunhyuk stood up, grabbed a heavy sweater, and made his way out the door. Without really meaning to, he kept the stranger’s phone in hand, bringing it along as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Being apart from those journal entries was being away from heroine for an addict.

Halfway through campus, Eunhyuk flipped open the phone with shaky fingers. He cursed silently annoyed at the way the wind cut his bones and gnawed at his skin. It sank deeper than anything that had ever bothered him, completely ignorant of the minimal heat being produced by lack of nutrition.

“ _Incoming~!_ ” Eunhyuk looked up just in time to see a soccer ball fly at him.

It slammed into his chest, knocking the phone out of hand and sending him toppling over. His tailbone crashed into the cold ground with a loud thud yet all he could really hear was the scratching and skidding of the precious black phone.

Scrambling to his feet, Eunhyuk wildly hurried to where the communicator was, reaching out to grab it at the same time another hand curled around it. Sudden dread filled his veins but it lasted for only a moment before Eunhyuk realized who was holding it. “Oh, it’s just you,” he sighed in relief.

“Where did you get this?”

Eunhyuk reached out for the phone, itching to get it back. “Someone dropped it and I happened to pick it up. I looked through its files to see if I could figure anything out…I’m still looking for the person though.”

“Ah…that makes sense….” It seemed as if he was reluctant to give the phone to Eunhyuk. There was a flicker of disdain in his eyes but it vanished in less than a heartbeat. “If you need any help—”

“—Thanks! I’ll definitely remember that,” Eunhyuk nodded his head politely and then hurried away, opening the phone again. The simple way he cradled it was enough to deduce two possibilities.

Either one, the kid wanted a phone badly.

Or two, the kid had been caught by the journals.

After all, it was human nature to pry. People were attracted to secrets and psychological warfare. It was nothing to be ashamed of. It was certainly something to be wary of though.

The cliché among clichés rang true as the boy watched Eunhyuk shuffle away.

Curiosity would, without a doubt, dare to kill the cat.

Perhaps _monkey_ would be a better term for this particular situation.

 


	13. Chapter 13/14 + Summarized Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes two unedited chapters (13 and 14), and a summarized ending. It has never been completed, but I provided this summary for anyone who wanted to know how the story ended. I lost motivation and the mindset necessary to write the story a long time ago, but please, enjoy what I could offer. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

**Chapter 13: Investigation Part 1**

A trench coat clad man sat in the corner of the doctor’s office. His face was shadowed by the lip of his tan fedora, massive arms crossed over chest. It was almost like he had jumped come from an ancient detective comic series.

The boy shot the stranger wary looks that did not go unnoticed.

Sharp eyes turned on him. “Is there something wrong?” his voice gravelly and deep. Each word was pronounced with evident crunching undertones, simply perfect for invoking terror in a criminal.

He wasn’t a criminal though. He was just a lost adolescent who had strayed. That’s what everyone said.

“My patient won’t speak unless spoken to in the correct tone,” the doctor stated, sounding tired, “You can try to scare him but I wouldn’t advise it.”

The detective smirked, standing up and trudging over to the boy. “He doesn’t scare easily you said?”

Scars dragged white lines through his tanned skin. The boy could finally see his facial features clearly, seeing that the man was incredibly unattractive – terrifying almost. If wrinkles were not desecrating his face, white scars and dry skin were. Among the indecent parts there were only two purely tantalizing things: his eyes.

The boy smiled slightly. Those seemed to be a recurring theme in the past few days.

“Oh? Smiling?” Mr. Detective growled.

Still, the boy did not answer, just turned his head away.

“I hear you’ve been here for almost a month. Do you like it?”

No answer.

“It must be better than attending some reform school, right?”

No answer.

“Or do you miss entering journal entries into that pretty black phone?”

The boy stiffened. A grin broke across Mr. Detective’s face. His heavy breath washed over the adolescent’s skin, nose, lips and eyes. “Gotcha,” the man remarked, backing up rather haughtily. “So do you want to talk about it or should I?” He pulled his trench coat back a bit, revealing an evidence bag with his Doo-Joon issued phone.

“Give that back!” the boy shouted, lunging forward suddenly.

The doctor staggered to his feet, clipboard falling to the floor in alarm. He grabbed his patient before anything could happen to the detective. “What has gotten into you?” the psychiatrist breathed haphazardly.

“That’s _mine!_ ” he exclaimed, clawing the air in hopes of getting closer to the evidence bag. “You don’t need it! It has nothing important on there!”

“Except for some interesting diary entries,” the man stated, closing his jacket. “It’s property of my investigation now. …But…”

“…What?” the boy stopped struggling, blood running cold.

The detective smirked. “If you help me out…I think we could make a deal.”

“What do you want?”

“Help me destroy Yoon Doo-Joon’s group.”

At this, the doctor stepped in, outrage shining in his eyes. “Excuse me sir, but as this young man’s psychiatrist I cannot approve of such a deal. He has far too much emotional connection to Yoon Doo-Joon. It would be cruel and dangerous to have him do such a thing as _destroy_ that man’s gang.”

The detective’s mouth set in a firm line, disapproval written all over that mangled face. “…You won’t reconsider, Doctor?”

“No I will not.”

“…I hope you’ll change your mind in the coming days then.” He pushed past the pair, slamming the door behind him.

The boy peered up at his doctor. “…Thank you…”

 

**Chapter 14**

 

“No! I can’t…I can’t be here right now.” Leeteuk was gazing up at Kangin desperately, pleading with him to understand.

“And why not?” Kangin snapped, tightening his hold on the slender boy. “Why are you avoiding me so much? Do you really distrust me that much?”

Leeteuk sighed, palms pressing against the taller one’s chest. “It’s not that…I’m just trying to handle everything. I don’t want you getting involved. I know you’ll get involved if we keep meeting…,” he swallowed a sob, lips quivering.

Why did Kangin have to be so _damn_ concerned? Why couldn’t he get fed up with Leeteuk already and ditch him? …before the letters could get worse. It felt silly thinking it – let alone saying it – but Leeteuk knew he was still being monitored, far more than last year. The feeling may have been similar to a stalker and a star. Surely that was a reasonable comparison.

Every time he shivered, he knew it wasn’t due to spring chills. Every time he turned around, he knew someone had just ducked into the shadows. Every time he was with Kangin, he knew they were around. Whoever they were...

“You’re trying to protect me?” Kangin snorted, eyeing the skinny boy with faint amusement.

Leeteuk may have felt offended but there were so many more important things to be feeling. “I _have_ to. I’m not going to—”

The words were cut off by a mouth capturing his lips, garbling all of the unsaid concerns. Kangin was upset and tired and angry. There were many things bothering him but the one thing that pissed him off the most was Leeteuk – if that wasn’t obvious already.

The boy was normally closed off but now he was blatantly saying Kangin was a liability? Where the _fuck_ did he get off saying that? He wasn’t the only one who had known hardships so why did he think Kangin was a useless thing? All of the academy’s students were from shitty backgrounds; therefore all of them knew how to take care of themselves.

So…why couldn’t Leeteuk accept a comrade or two?

Kangin pulled back, breathing harder than he had expected. Leeteuk wasn’t much better. “You need to shut up,” the broader boy growled, pulling the other boy’s head to his chest, “I’m not from where you are Leeteuk, but I can take care of myself. I don’t need you worrying so much.”

“They’ll kill you,” he whispered, voice muffled in Kangin’s t-shirt, “it’s my fault…it’s always my fault. I don’t want to see another person I…I love die…”

 _DaeHyun…your hyung…right, Leeteuk?_ Kangin soothed the boy’s trembling body, embracing him as tenderly as he could.

Cool, spring air swirled around them, rustling the forest leaves and dancing with overgrown grass. Lightning bugs flashed in the blue night, turning the clearing into a dreamscape. Kangin peered around, wondering how they always ended up before KUG. Was there something special about the place?

“I’ll die eventually,” Kangin remarked, “I might as well die on the front lines.”

Leeteuk tilted his head up, eyes red behind the fake glasses. “You’re crazy…you just don’t know it yet,” he mumbled, feeling warm lips brush against his.

“…do you want to go down?” the handsome boy asked, nodding at the trapdoor they stood on. “I won’t upon the club tonight. Let’s talk.” Kangin was taking a chance. So far, everything appeared to be going his way so why not try and get Leeteuk to talk even more? Besides, spending time with the beautiful boy was far better than tending to sweaty, hormonal teenage boys. Ugh.

Leeteuk hesitated, eyes darting around the clearing.

“It wasn’t so much a request as a demand,” Kangin added, smiling and running his fingers slightly over Leeteuk’s black hair.

“O-Oh…,” he cast his eyes down, shifting on his feet. For a moment, Leeteuk gauged his stress levels and was unsurprised to find that he was feeling better. There was surely something magical about being with Kangin. He made…everything, really, fade.

That was the dangerous part though. With everything vanishing, pain, memories, and experience, came the inability to survive. Leeteuk became weak, comfortable. Doo-Joon may be a crazed killer but he made interpretive sense. Forgetting all the bad things didn’t make them go away. It just made you drop your guard.

With all of that said, Leeteuk still followed Kangin into KUG. And surely, it would be one of many mistakes to come.

 

 

 

**Summarized Proceedings/Ending**

 

Yesung is the patient in the insane asylum who is also “Saint”.

Eunhyuk gets caught up in the mess as Yesung finds out he’s the one in possession of the phone.

Accidentally, Yunho comes across the phone when Eunhyuk drops it and the flip phone opens. The Home Screen shows the symbol and Yunho immediately takes it, claiming that it’s his. Eunhyuk thinks about the journal entries and decides to stay as far away as possible from Yunho – afraid of what the kid might do.

Yunho shows Leeteuk the phone. A couple of days after that, Yunho receives a call on Yesung’s phone and answers it. DooJoon asks who’s speaking and Yunho admits to being the one holding the phone. Before he can say anything more, DooJoon laughs and asks him how he is doing. Soon after, he sets up a time for them to meet that night under the pretense of exchanging the phone for the identity of the spy.

He agrees and goes out to meet DooJoon. DooJoon is waiting for him in the forest, just beyond the campus limits. Yunho goes armed with a small pocket knife in case DooJoon was planning anything but the latter really just wanted to talk.

DooJoon asks Yunho if he’s still in love with Leeteuk after close to half a decade. Yunho doesn’t answer. DooJoon starts talking about DaeHyun and how he was the only person whom Leeteuk shared a strong, romantic bond with – before the whole thing with Kangin.

Yunho falters at the words, unable to keep perfect control of his emotions while being toyed with by DooJoon. He starts to think about how DooJoon is somewhat right – even though he’s crazy – it makes little sense that ever since DaeHyun died, Leeteuk refused to even look at another person with love, yet some nobody like Kangin was able to break through to him. Yunho begins falling under DooJoon’s persuasion as his hormones fire up and his panic rises.

DooJoon proposes they work together but Yunho quickly refuses and demands to know who the spy is. DooJoon does not answer the demand and instead tells Yunho he’ll be back and that for the time being, he should hold onto that phone for any calls from DooJoon

The next time they meet, Yunho just learned that Leeteuk willingly slept with Kangin, even after his horrible past of sexual abuse. Angry and confused, Yunho keeps trying to convince himself that being a friend is enough but it isn’t.

DooJoon can tell there’s something different about the way the boy is acting and quickly takes advantage of it. He tells him that Leeteuk could be his if Kangin was out of the picture. Yunho doesn’t want to be a murderer so DooJoon tells him killing Kangin isn’t of importance. Making Kangin feel like Leeteuk betrayed him is important.

Yunho agrees and teams up with DooJoon, albeit reluctantly. He then returns the phone but DooJoon tells him who the owner is and that he should return it to him directly so they could get acquainted as partners.

Yesung, the traitor, helps kidnap Kangin and Eunhyuk.

While Kangin and Eunhyuk are being teased and screwed mentally, Leeteuk has been taken away again, but this time by Nichkhun. Over the course of their separation, Nichkhun had slowly begun seeing the emotional bond forming between Yesung and DooJoon.

He’s positive that he’ll be killed or abandoned at that rate so he begins plotting against DooJoon. When Leeteuk arrives at the warehouse with Nichkhun, DooJoon is already there, bound and gagged from an earlier time. Nichkhun slowly starts tempting Leeteuk into killing DooJoon, even putting the gun in his hands. They’re holding the gun together, aiming it at the man who had killed and abused so many of the people they knew and loved – as well as themselves.

Leeteuk is crying and admits he can’t kill him even though he wanted to avenge DaeHyun and Nichkhun. The latter pushes Leeteuk aside and fires the gun, killing DooJoon. He then turns to Leeteuk with DooJoon’s blood splattered across his face and body, “Don’t you feel better now? Are you still sad? I was hoping that this red,” he pressed a bloody hand to Leeteuk’s cheek, “is the ultimate cure for sadness.”

But in the end, Leeteuk can only cry and shake his head, unable to agree with the dead man – the same man who had tortured and scarred him.

While this is happening, Yunho snaps out of it and abandons Yesung who is still holding Eunhyuk and Kangin captive. Yunho calls the police and gets Yesung arrested and put in an insane asylum. (The “Session” chapters are placed in the future when Yesung is going through therapy to return to society)

Lee Joon is the one Yesung sees before being sent off to the care facility.

Leeteuk tries to approach Kangin a few days after everything settles down but Kangin refuses to speak to him because of what he caused Eunhyuk to go through. They stop speaking after that meeting.

Nichkhun is now running things but has, for the most part, lost his mind and left behind DooJoon’s group which soon falls to disarray without a leader. Instead, he plots to destroy Angel because he realizes that Leeteuk is too corrupted and therefore is no different from any other filthy human being.

Yesung is visited by Nichkhun in the insane asylum and is threatened with death as well (as seen in one of the italicized chapters). In the coming months though, Yesung is released tentatively, with weekly meetings with the school’s psychiatrist. Joon is there for him throughout their third year together, being the only one who knows that Yesung isn’t nearly as strong and calm and quiet as he pretends to be.

Leeteuk and Kangin’s relationship stays strained all throughout their third year up until their final winter break when Nichkhun decides to show up again in hopes of ending everything. Eunhyuk gets pulled in as well as Yesung. Joon is left to wonder what’s happening.

They are confronted for the last time when the four of them wake up bound and gagged in the basement of the main school building. Nichkhun had bribed the School Director, Moon Hee-Joon, with all of the money he had stolen from DooJoon. Soon after, the director resigned from his position to go into hiding after breaking so many laws.

Nichkhun nearly _does_ kill all of them, but Joon shows up and wrestles the gun out of his hand. He pins the man to the ground and aims the gun at his chest. Leeteuk tells him not to do it but Joon decides that there’s no way to stop now. Nichkhun sees Leeteuk crying and asking for Joon to spare his life and decides that maybe the Angel isn’t quite so corrupted.

Slowly, Nichkhun grabs the gun, and simultaneously slams the barrel into Joon’s head. The boy passes out from the blow. Nichkhun stands up and unties one of Leeteuk’s hands, putting the gun in his hand. They hold the weapon together for the second time, except this time it’s pointed Nichkhun’s heart.

The trigger is being pressed down by both of them as Nichkhun tells Leeteuk that “You’re not an Angel. The only way to stop you from dutifully crying is to make you a Sinner.” And then he forces Leeteuk to press down on the trigger.

The forceful crack is quickly noticed by campus security and they come rushing into the basement after breaking down the door. They find the dead Nichkhun and the no longer crying Leeteuk.

Before Leeteuk can say he’s the one who killed Nichkhun, Yesung says Nichkhun went crazy and shot himself. The supervisors believe him quickly enough, deciding that since he’s a quiet boy he must be telling the truth.

Yesung sits with Joon until he wakes up and then confesses that he wants to go to school with him and that he wants to learn from him. Joon gladly accepts that offer but quickly falls unconscious again from the head injury.  

The police ask them questions until daybreak, but Leeteuk gives them no answers. He couldn’t understand why Nichkhun was setting him free. But then he considers that maybe in his eyes it wasn’t like that. Maybe Nichkhun thought he was corrupting an Angel and that was the greatest punishment he could ever inflict.

Kangin doesn’t want to leave behind Leeteuk again – not after clearing up everything. At first he hesitates, but Yunho pushes him to fix Leeteuk’s broken character.

Yunho disappears after that, leaving for another new place except this time he doesn’t ask Leeteuk to go with him. Instead, he just vanishes.

After graduation, Leeteuk and Kangin have moved away to a new place without any intentions to returning to that academy or anywhere that Leeteuk may be recognized as an ex-gangster. They’re finally free to live as Sinners.

 

_.END._


End file.
